Without having known him, I would not be the chaplain I am today. Let me take this opportunity to memorialize a longtime client. For the last 16 years of his life, Darold W. spent his days at St. Ann Center for Intergenerational Care enriching the lives of everyone he met. (Teasing everyone, too!) In May of this year, Darold passed away at the age of 66.

Darold started using a wheelchair at the age of 13 due to cerebral palsy. A few years ago, when the progression of the disease took away his ability to eat, he had to get used to tube-feeding. Darold’s ability to speak clearly was gradually taken away by cerebral palsy, too.  However, rather than dwelling on his complicated health problems, he chose to celebrate life to the fullest and follow his intuition for the best adventures. Shannon, the owner of his group home, helped him enjoy his life, and Darold was most grateful that Shannon treated him with dignity and respect.

I greatly miss his visits to my office because Darold’s entrances were delightfully dramatic.  Since my door is kept ajar, unless I have a client or staff member with me, Darold would let me know he wanted to see me by first, strategically  backing-up his fancy electric wheelchair. Then, he would make a fast run smack dab into my door creating a hearty “bam” and opening it wide. I loved it!  Recently, a reliable source told me Darold’s nickname was “Crash.”

Darold took delight in buying presents for others. Every Friday, he would select some treasures from St. Ann Center’s dollar table for friends and staff. One Friday afternoon last December, he crashed into my door and rolled into my office. He had the look of someone about to ask a favor. Now, I hadn’t known him too long, so I was a rookie at understanding his speech. Eventually, after Darold fixed his eyes on a roll of gift wrapping paper behind my desk, it all clicked. “Oh,” I said. “You want me to wrap a present for you?” He nodded in the affirmative. “Sure, no problem, Darold.” He smiled radiantly!

In all honesty, as a new employee, I silently pondered, “Will my supervisor be OK with me wrapping a gift for a client?” Well, so much for wrapping one gift. Darold looked down at a side pouch on his wheelchair as if to say, “Please open the bag in there.” So, I did, finding six more items. “Darold, do I look like one of Santa’s elves to you?” I joked. “You are sitting in a pastoral care office, not Macy’s gift wrapping department!” Darold laughed his distinctive laugh by moving his head to the left and back, and making a loud guttural “ah” sound while blushing and grinning from ear to ear.

As much fun as Darold and I shared, I was honored to listen and converse about serious subjects that mattered to him, such as God’s love and forgiveness, grief, the Bible, the power of kindness, the promise of Heaven and positive thinking. Observing Darold’s honesty, openness and courage inspired me to pay close attention to my intuition, too.

In fact, during one of the last times Darold visited me, I felt compelled to share how he made a difference in my life, and expressed words of gratitude to him.  I am most grateful and relieved I listened to my intuition because soon after, the center closed for many weeks. Upon re-opening, Darold did not come back to us.  There isn’t a day that goes by without the staff bringing up one Darold story or another. We sure miss you, Darold!

May we tell the special people in our lives about the good we see in them, and how thankful we are to have them in our lives. No matter how awkward it may feel, let kindness roll!

Jumbo jellyfish, plump and pink, floated side by side, weaving squirmy tentacles into a wavy blanket that reached from the shore thirty feet into Long Island Sound. Upon arriving at the beach, heavy-laden with beach chairs, towels, cooler, beach balls and sandcastle-making stuff, we were seriously disappointed. These creepy creatures had floated in with the tide and were not leaving anytime soon. Absolutely no swimming on this vacation day!

What to do now? Our family had rented a cottage close to the beach for two weeks. So spending long summer days squishing our toes in the sand and splashing around in the refreshing Connecticut waters was our “Plan A.” Many decades ago, when I was eight or nine years old, there were no such things as malls, adventure parks, indoor pools, or any other such places for kids to play. Consequently, “Plan B” was quite basic. My mother took my siblings and me to the laundromat.

Now, one would understandably not envision this “Plan B” to be anywhere near good. But, our excursion to this Westbrook, Connecticut, laundromat turned out to be quite memorable. In fact, forever after, when I drove through Westbrook, the remembrance of the town’s laundromat filled my heart.

It just so happened, my mother stayed at the laundromat only long enough to stuff a couple of washers full up, add detergent and fill their slots with the necessary change. Then, Mama Bear went to the small grocery store a few doors down, while the three baby bears stayed at the laundromat for the show. I lived in a simpler time, so watching clothes spinning round and round was considered entertainment.

However, the real show started when all of a sudden, clumps of foamy white suds began oozing out of the lids of the washers. Before long, the washers became volcanoes, with foaming suds erupting from their tops, flowing lava-like down their fronts and sides. The laundromat’s old tile floor was soon buried in three-foot-tall soap clouds, reaching to the front door. And Mama Bear was nowhere in sight!

My memory fails me as to which baby bear ran their little legs over to the grocery store to collect Mama Bear. However, I do remember my mother being shocked and stunned to see the mass of billowing soap overtaking the small laundromat, while we laughed hysterically.

Our “Plan B” on that summer vacation day delightfully surpassed our original plan, and I learned a valuable lesson from that sudsy scenario: “It’s best to be flexible with plans, and most importantly, expect only good things to happen when they need to be unexpectedly changed.”

This coronavirus pandemic has involved a plethora of Plan B’s. So far, how many of your typical lifestyle plans have you creatively revised for the safety of others and yourself? Officials in our area announced the cancellation of long-running annual celebrations and other popular summer events.

It’s important for our emotional health to acknowledge this sad and disappointing news … and then boldly move on to unique Plan B’s. Covid-19, despite your shenanigans, we will have a memorable summer–and when we return to our favorite events in the summer of 2021, they’re gonna be better than ever! Now go away, Covid-19!

With blessings and peace,

Rodican Rose Bonn
Chaplain